Endometrial Scratch

EM Scratch for short.

Last month was the first time I heard of it. And I was told by my ob that they highly recommend this procedure for patients who’ve had a miscarriage (there, I said it).

So I searched online for some reading materials on em scratch, and these were what I found: 

  1. Daily Mail 2015 article
  2. The Telegraph UK 2016 article

It seems simple, but I was worried how it felt like because you don’t need anesthesia for it.

So anyway, em scratch day came. My ob said it was like a pap smear — NOT! Pap smears are just uncomfortable. This was slightly painful. Aside from the discomfort of the speculum, it did give a cramping sensation but it only lasted 2 minutes tops. I just rested sitting down for a few more minutes, and it was all gone. Maybe I was just overreacting after of the tiny sharp pain but it was alright.

Also, it didn’t cost GBP 300! It was a little less than Php 2,000. I’m open to trying anything, especially if it’s this reasonably priced.

So there. Good luck to all of us!

Catching Up

I purposely avoided writing down my thoughts here the past few months.

December was too hectic. I was excited, tired, busy, angry, apathetic, happy and hopeful.

January was my darkest. I lost 2 people I love dearly, one of them I haven’t even met. But I met new friends and saw that I need to move on because God has the perfect plan for me.

I miss Pare most in these darkest hours. I recall how when Ninong Mac passed, he really didn’t leave my side. From the time I got home, until I left. He went upstairs with me in my room. He just stayed with me. He didn’t want me to be alone.

I remember, I talked to Louis when Pare passed away. I told him how heartbroken I was. And I told him that I don’t think I can have another dog because I was really hurt when I lost my Pare. I don’t think I can replace him. If I do, I’ll probably have expectations like he is Pare or something, I dunno. He told me that he thinks what I was feeling was normal. His Mom went through the same thing. She lost her dog and didn’t want to be close to other dogs because she was really hurt before and didn’t want to be attached to another dog and lose him again in 15 years tops. I still think of Pare. A lot. And tonight I thought, is what I’m feeling similar from what others feel about failed relationships? I hope I don’t sound like Carrie haha but I have to say no.

It’s not the same. My love for my fallen dog is unconditional. He was loyal to me. Unparalleled. I was his best friend. We have no ill feelings towards each other. Failed human relationships, well, too different! I don’t need to enumerate.

I have my good days and bad days… There are those days that I’m so happy and thankful for anything and everything. But there are bad days that I just don’t feel like doing anything and sulk.

But I try to be mindful. I always remember that all of these are blessings from God. Always be thankful. And I shall be.

How He Became My Pare

January 2009 I went to my friend Louis’ birthday party. Ever since high school he drank a lot, so it takes so many bottles of beer to make him drunk. At the party, Louis told me they have so many dogs from their mini pincher who got pregnant by their shitzu. We went to the puppies and I fell in love with them instantly! Louis offered me one puppy and I gladly accepted. He says I can get him in a few weeks.

But Louis was drunk that time! I didn’t know! So he didn’t know he offered me a puppy! Haha but anyway, we fetched Pare one night. He was the cutest. He went home with me and he stayed with me. I didn’t know back then that he’d be the most loyal and protective dog I’ll ever have.

I told Louis the other day that Pare already passed. I thanked him for being drunk that night, because he wasn’t drunk, I wouldn’t have Pare.

Pare my love, I miss you dearly. Everyday.

Thank You for Fighting

Two and a half years ago, my Tita Cris texted me, asking about laptops and where to get them cheap. I asked why he needed a laptop, and he said he was going to teach catechism to kids. He asked if there was a payment scheme of a little cash out, then monthly payments. As I am naive to these kinds of conversations, I said there’s a promo with this credit card company. I didn’t figure he was asking to use my card. He’s cool. He never ran out of any financial responsibility. But that time, I just resigned so I wasn’t able to help him out.

Fast forward to a month later, my folks were in Europe, and Tita Cris had several trips to the doctor due to stomach ache. I was seated in CPK with my siblings, husband and niece when I casually asked how she was since they lived nearer. My niece then blurted out that it was cancer. We were silent and teary eyed for quite a while.

Yesterday morning I visited him. He wasn’t conscious and seemed to be in a coma. I apologized for my short comings (the playing with make up and perfume story, sorry I didn’t get him the laptop, etc) and thanked him for always taking care of all of us. I laid down beside him and told him how I will always remember him when I hear Bohemian Rhapsody, how I admired his cooking skills (he had a pancitan before and can cook so well with his eyes closed), and how he drove me to the interview of my 1st real job. I held his hand most of the time. Asked him several times if he wants to eat because we have liempo (he was craving liempo the other day). 

I left our ancestral home at 3pm. I arrived home past 4. After dinner, at around 830pm I got a call from my Mom, telling me she was heading back to the old house, because Tita Cris finished his battle. She asked me to call my Dad and tell him. I said I don’t want to do it over the phone, so I called Mike and told him to break the news to Dad gently and don’t leave him alone, no matter what happens.

Half way through Tita Cris’ battle, he always said he was tired and just wanted to rest. Most of us said no. And I think I was hardest on him when I said no, you have to fight. Not everyone has the chance to fight. Fight to live. I know it was very selfish of me, but deep inside me I knew he had to fight because he deserved every minute more of his God-given life. 

But I often asked God and Jesus to not make him feel pain anymore. And one time, I know I asked why do we get sick? I instantly got my answer. The priest in St. Pio suddenly said “In sickness and pain, we are one with Jesus’ suffering.” That made me move on from questioning God of my condition. I told Tita Cris that, I’m not sure how he took it.

We have all prepared for his passing, but I don’t think no one really can. Especially when I sit beside my Dad and hold his hand. His whole body shakes when he tells me how much pain he has in his heart. Having lost his parents, Ninong Mac and now Tita Cris. He says the pain is different. Very very different. And remember, just a few days back, my Uber driver told me that relationships with siblings last longer than parents and children, so it might be better to have many kids so they’ll live happier and longer together.

Dear Lord, I pray for my Dad and his siblings, that they may whole heartedly accept your will; that you need your noble servant Cris with you now. I pray that Tita Cris now serve you in the best way he can beside you. Please tell him we’ll miss him, and that we won’t be as nurtured and loved as we are without him.

Rest in Peace Tita Cris. Thank you for fighting.

A Rosary and Blessings

Rosaries are blessings

Rosaries are blessings

This is my new rosary. My youngest brother  gave it to me. It came with a good story. I don’t really know how to feel about it but I’m teary eyed now telling it.

Around two months ago, one late night, M and his gf went to a local burger joint and ordered late dinner. It was 11pm. While waiting, a chubby, cute little girl came in. She was about 6-7 years old. She went from table to table, selling these rosary bracelets. Unfortunately, not one table bought one. She went over to their table and made 2 beautiful flowers out of pink and purple straws and gave it to V. She then set aside her stuff, and bused the tables and even wiped them after putting the soiled dishes away. She caught everyone’s attention but gathered her stuff and prepared to leave.

This was when M had a calling in his heart. He asked the little girl to come and talk to them. They couldn’t offer any food because it has been 40 minutes and their food hasn’t arrived (they actually forgot to make their meals!). Talking to her, they found out that the little girl’s mom is sick and bed ridden, so she’s trying to make Php 500 per night for her school needs and their food for the day. She said she doesn’t know who her father is. She attends public school and she makes and sells rosaries for a living. She’d rather do this than beg. M said that it’s almost midnight and there is curfew in effect so she has to be home already. She said she doesn’t have enough yet to go home. M said it’s very late and she needs to go to school tomorrow, but she said her class doesn’t start until 12nn. He gave her Php 100 for a rosary but she asked how much he wanted. She said just take how many he wants. M said she wont make any profit then. She said “Wala namang lugi dyan, basta maka Php 500 lang po ako.” (There won’t be any deficit for me, as long as I make Php 500). He asked how much one rosary is. She said Php 30 each, so he just took 3. He then said that she should head home already. She left but they doubt that she headed home.

Unfortunately, their food was still no where to be found. So V asked for a refund. They still wouldn’t refund because they claimed they already cooked their burgers. But they cooked the wrong ones so no go.

After I heard this story, I didn’t know what to feel but I think I felt very sad. At the same time, I felt so humbled and had the urge to feel contented with what I have.

Here’s a little girl, trying to make an honest living for food and education, while others resolve to cheating and illegal deals for luxury.

I realized that we all have our problems. We all have different needs. I tried to picture myself not having much like this little girl, and how would I deal with it. I then tried to picture other people in my situation, and how they’d deal with it. My thoughts will just go in loop.

So I just thought, make the most of what we can do. Make the most with what we are blessed with. Not because others don’t have it but because God has blessed us and it is up to us how to live the best out of these lives we have, paid in full by Christ.

It’s almost Christmas. And Christmas isn’t the only time we should be giving and sharing. I hope we keep that in our minds and in our hearts.

Let’s always pray. While we do our best to make the world a better place, some people still forget. We need to pray.

Jeff, Dave and a Dick-tator

I’ve been having busy days but today was quite an emotional roller coaster.

I was set to watch a livestream event in Chicago. Jeff Buckley’s 50th birthday, 12th tribute to him and his great music. I’m a big fan. The show was the best livestream I’ve seen. Jeff’s music has its own soul. And his voice. Oh my, his voice. I feel that if we could her God’s voice, it might be Jeff’s.

When I switched to social media, boom! Former President Ferdinand Marcos was already laid to rest in Libingan ng Mga Bayani. Oh boy. I was so appalled. What more the relatives of martial law human rights victims? Geez. 

I ran some errands. Tired. Rested for a while.

Headed out to a kiddie party. My Uber ride going to Jollibee was good. I got to talking to my driver. He was very nice. We talked about family life, how kids and siblings keep you happy and of course how much better things would be if you can afford to give your family what they deserve. We had a very good conversation. I’m thankful for those moments where you hear life stories and lessons from strangers. I tipped him well. And he couldn’t thank me enough. I know I’m not making any money now but I felt that he needed help and he deserved it because he’s working hard.

The party was fun. And of course, reconnecting with college friends. Memories.

My Uber ride home was good too. And traffic wasn’t too bad, despite the rallies and protests. We passed by the People Power Monument and traffic was unaffected. I really hope something will happen from all that’s happening. Hukayin si Marcos. He’s not a hero.

I’m overflowing with rather serious emotions right now. Gah. Must. Not. Be. Depressed.

God bless the Philippines  ðŸ‡µðŸ‡­

Diode vs Gentle Max 

This is just my personal experience and opinion so please don’t bash me if we don’t have the same sentiments.

TLDR – I’d go for Diode. More discomfort but it really worked for me. And not in Wink. Anymore.

TL part:

I wrote about my first diode laser hair removal experience in Wink Laser Studio Trinoma here 2 years back. I did 8 sessions religiously under the care of Cathy. After my 8th session, she told me that I’ll only need boosters once a year. Hurray! I was hairless sa kilikili!

After that, I tried 2 sessions of Revlite in Wink BGC. I love Revlite! Those 2 sessions made my underarm prettier haha as in my skin is lighter and less lines and chicken skin. I plan to do more revlite after pregnancy. Whenever that is. Haha!

Last year, I went to Wink GH for a booster shot of diode since I had 2 or 3 stray hairs and I thought it was time anyway.

This year, I noticed I was getting stubbles. So I scheduled for diode in GH. I was overdue by 3 months for my annual booster. Unfortunately, no one in Wink GH contacted me about it. That’s fine. It’s my responsibility anyway. (Wink Trinoma is nice, they even send me auto happy birthday emails!)

When I went to Wink, they told me they were phasing out diode and that I should try Gmax, as in Gentle Max. It’s in form of shots and doesn’t hurt at all. It was supposed to let the hair/stubbles grow out and just fall off on their own after a few days. Maybe they should have told me that when I scheduled for diode? What do you think? Since they all won’t stop agreeing with each other and raving about Gmax, I tried it.

Similar to diode. No pain! But the result 👎🏼

I don’t think the hair/stubbles grew out. And the other hair strands, I noticed, did not fall off.

That was disappointing. But the worse part of it: Wink GH was all sales talk in my last visit. I was being bombarded by ALL of the staff to avail of their promo for gmax and revlite. Good thing I didn’t give in because

  1. Gmax didn’t work as well as diode did for me
  2. I was given wrong information about the promos, despite asking that they write it down
  • Promo was different when I was there
  • When I called back apparently it cannot be paid by card in installment

It was so unprofessional and annoying. Ms. Holly Chang, in case you get to read this, I hope you look into this. Before heavily marketing anything, please see to it that your staff has the correct details. Also, please see to it that your clients are taken care of first before all the marketing. I understand that maybe they get commissions so they’re all out selling, but I am 90% not coming back to Wink because I feel that your business is all money now and less service.

So, my very few readers, any suggestions where I should do my booster shots and revlite soon?