Stronger

I had my first Lymphocyte Immunization Therapy (LIT) session last Saturday morning. The thought of it terrified me. I saw horrible photos on Instagram and from Google… it made me uneasy. 

Note to self and everyone else: trust your doctor. If you don’t, find a new one you can trust. 

Lucky me, my immunologist is one of the best in the country. So what was supposed to look like a bingo card on my arm, was only 2 injections. And I didn’t even feel a thing, honestly!

What’s more amazing is that this therapy to raise my 0% LAT to at least 80% has no down time! I can do anything and everything; my doctor put a waterproof bandage before my bandage that’s supposed to protect me from the sun. Yes, I can even swim indoors! Niiice!

I pray a lot before going back to the doctor especially if I have a test or treatment. I always ask the Lord to remind me that he’s with me. And I ask for extra cheer leaders (guardian angels!). Just to show support haha 😊

Always remember, you’re stronger than you think you are. And this is because God loves you!

Endometrial Scratch

EM Scratch for short.

Last month was the first time I heard of it. And I was told by my ob that they highly recommend this procedure for patients who’ve had a miscarriage (there, I said it).

So I searched online for some reading materials on em scratch, and these were what I found: 

  1. Daily Mail 2015 article
  2. The Telegraph UK 2016 article

It seems simple, but I was worried how it felt like because you don’t need anesthesia for it.

So anyway, em scratch day came. My ob said it was like a pap smear — NOT! Pap smears are just uncomfortable. This was slightly painful. Aside from the discomfort of the speculum, it did give a cramping sensation but it only lasted 2 minutes tops. I just rested sitting down for a few more minutes, and it was all gone. Maybe I was just overreacting after of the tiny sharp pain but it was alright.

Also, it didn’t cost GBP 300! It was a little less than Php 2,000. I’m open to trying anything, especially if it’s this reasonably priced.

So there. Good luck to all of us!

Catching Up

I purposely avoided writing down my thoughts here the past few months.

December was too hectic. I was excited, tired, busy, angry, apathetic, happy and hopeful.

January was my darkest. I lost 2 people I love dearly, one of them I haven’t even met. But I met new friends and saw that I need to move on because God has the perfect plan for me.

I miss Pare most in these darkest hours. I recall how when Ninong Mac passed, he really didn’t leave my side. From the time I got home, until I left. He went upstairs with me in my room. He just stayed with me. He didn’t want me to be alone.

I remember, I talked to Louis when Pare passed away. I told him how heartbroken I was. And I told him that I don’t think I can have another dog because I was really hurt when I lost my Pare. I don’t think I can replace him. If I do, I’ll probably have expectations like he is Pare or something, I dunno. He told me that he thinks what I was feeling was normal. His Mom went through the same thing. She lost her dog and didn’t want to be close to other dogs because she was really hurt before and didn’t want to be attached to another dog and lose him again in 15 years tops. I still think of Pare. A lot. And tonight I thought, is what I’m feeling similar from what others feel about failed relationships? I hope I don’t sound like Carrie haha but I have to say no.

It’s not the same. My love for my fallen dog is unconditional. He was loyal to me. Unparalleled. I was his best friend. We have no ill feelings towards each other. Failed human relationships, well, too different! I don’t need to enumerate.

I have my good days and bad days… There are those days that I’m so happy and thankful for anything and everything. But there are bad days that I just don’t feel like doing anything and sulk.

But I try to be mindful. I always remember that all of these are blessings from God. Always be thankful. And I shall be.

How He Became My Pare

January 2009 I went to my friend Louis’ birthday party. Ever since high school he drank a lot, so it takes so many bottles of beer to make him drunk. At the party, Louis told me they have so many dogs from their mini pincher who got pregnant by their shitzu. We went to the puppies and I fell in love with them instantly! Louis offered me one puppy and I gladly accepted. He says I can get him in a few weeks.

But Louis was drunk that time! I didn’t know! So he didn’t know he offered me a puppy! Haha but anyway, we fetched Pare one night. He was the cutest. He went home with me and he stayed with me. I didn’t know back then that he’d be the most loyal and protective dog I’ll ever have.

I told Louis the other day that Pare already passed. I thanked him for being drunk that night, because he wasn’t drunk, I wouldn’t have Pare.

Pare my love, I miss you dearly. Everyday.

Jeff, Dave and a Dick-tator

I’ve been having busy days but today was quite an emotional roller coaster.

I was set to watch a livestream event in Chicago. Jeff Buckley’s 50th birthday, 12th tribute to him and his great music. I’m a big fan. The show was the best livestream I’ve seen. Jeff’s music has its own soul. And his voice. Oh my, his voice. I feel that if we could her God’s voice, it might be Jeff’s.

 
When I switched to social media, boom! Former President Ferdinand Marcos was already laid to rest in Libingan ng Mga Bayani. Oh boy. I was so appalled. What more the relatives of martial law human rights victims? Geez. 

I ran some errands. Tired. Rested for a while.

Headed out to a kiddie party. My Uber ride going to Jollibee was good. I got to talking to my driver. He was very nice. We talked about family life, how kids and siblings keep you happy and of course how much better things would be if you can afford to give your family what they deserve. We had a very good conversation. I’m thankful for those moments where you hear life stories and lessons from strangers. I tipped him well. And he couldn’t thank me enough. I know I’m not making any money now but I felt that he needed help and he deserved it because he’s working hard.

The party was fun. And of course, reconnecting with college friends. Memories.

My Uber ride home was good too. And traffic wasn’t too bad, despite the rallies and protests. We passed by the People Power Monument and traffic was unaffected. I really hope something will happen from all that’s happening. Hukayin si Marcos. He’s not a hero.

I’m overflowing with rather serious emotions right now. Gah. Must. Not. Be. Depressed.

God bless the Philippines  🇵🇭

Meh Monday and Pretty Busy Weekend

W and I usually run more errands, mostly shopping, on weekends. Saturdays are usually mall nights then Sunday is family time.

On Saturday, I was on a mission to buy an automatic spray for our unit. I’ve kinda had it with insensitive neighbors who leave their doors open, especially those who do it when they’re cooking. Having the corner unit, the smell usually ends up in our small unit. Security became my bff over the holidays because that was the height of our stupid neighbors’ stupidity. So far we haven’t caught anyone yet. But we were able to buy an Air Wick automatic spray in True Value. They actually have Glade too but Air Wick is cheaper by a few hundreds, despite its sensitivity with refills. My folks have a box of refills at home so I can have some, plus there are refills in True Value. The Glade refills are almost Php 200 cheaper in Rustans. But let’s see how things go.

  
W still get surprised at times when our Air Wick sprays hehe me too but we’ll get used to it. It’s been awesome so far. It smells super good!!!

We had dinner at this hidden Japanese restaurant. Haha or so we think. So far, the last 2 times we had dinner there, we got our meals for free. Why? We usually see parents of our friends, and without telling us, they pay for our meal! It’s quite embarrassing but we’re grateful. These parents of our friends are actually people we look up to, and really talk to from time to time.

Sunday we had a kiddie party in the newest hotel in town. That party was awesome. The food was incredible. Give aways were awesome too. We had a great time, and finally met the birthday girl. She’s so happy and cheerful. That’s how babies should be! We rested home for a while then headed on to the nearby mall and had dinner wih my husband’s clan. I’m lucky that my in laws, seriously all of them, are so lambing and easy to talk to. 3ko showed me an envelope with a few old photos… They all looked great and W and his cousins were mostly chubby in their younger years. Only Atsi was slim and sexy! She always reminded me of Sheryl Cruz but way prettier and of course waaay smarter (Wharton Top 5!)

W and I walked around the mall after everyone left. I was actually craving KFC Crushers but good thing we didn’t pass anywhere. Need to save up. So much expenses in the near future!

Today was really meh for me. I had chores planned but skipped them. And I felt so sad for no reason at all. My hormones took over today. Not even chocolates helped. Oh dear.

Christmas is less than 2 months away. I dread the traffic and stress. But I think I just need to focus. It’s not about the gifts, the parties, etc. it’s about love, spending time with family and friends, the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. CHRISTmas. Need to keep it in mind, and in our hearts.

Sniffles After Vacay

After our holiday at the beach, I’m sick! So annoying! I got sore throat first. The next day I had mild colds. Last night it got so bad. It clogged up my nose and head… This morning it’s a little more manageable but still ack I hate the feeling!

  
I’m just eating breakfast now: calamansi muffin from Real Coffee Boracay and my hazelnut milk. Later on, my vitamins: folic acid, women’s daily and omega rich. After this I think I’ll lie back again.

But grrr I have to send out a few emails. Important ones. 

And I wanna write about our beach trip. When I get better, I’ll do it!