Apologies

Have you ever apologized to someone and really mean it?
Or didn’t really mean it, just to get over with it?

Have you ever apologized for something you didn’t even do?
Have you ever apologized to someone that you think didn’t even deserve it?

Have you ever apologized and got an uncivilized response?

One thing’s for sure: mustering strength to apologize is tough for many. Admitting one’s mistake is hard. Imagine the damage it does to the ego.

Twice is the answer to my last question. I didn’t even do anything wrong. I apologized to make things and relationships better. But these people have already made up their minds.

One person thought I told on her. Her girlfriend lost her job and was blaming me for it. While it was true that I made a follow up on their department for several important matters they were taking a while to attend to (I didn’t even report that they were slacking off), I didn’t say anything else. We were down sizing that time and I saw how people lost their jobs. They saw it too. And they weren’t shaping up. I wonder why she didn’t think her job was in danger. Fast forward to a new and what I thought was a better career, we crossed paths. She was talking shit about me. I wrote her an email apologizing for the misunderstanding. I explained my side and asked for forgiveness for whatever I have done to hurt her. Her response was wow. So inhuman. Like I was in control of her life. Like she doesn’t make mistakes. Like forgiveness didn’t exist. Like she was the devil (I would have said God but God forgives). I’m glad I wrote you that email, it was a monkey off my back. But I tell you M, the longer you don’t take responsibility for your own actions, the crappier your life will get. Good luck. God bless. My conscience is clear. I’d ask you the same thing but sorry. I don’t care.

The other one, now that I think about it, is a similar lazy guy. Only this one was a member of a cult known for backstabbing. Anyway!
He wasn’t working well with others. Our colleagues were reporting him to me. We were very candid in that office, but apparently the wisecracks were only valid if it came from them. I didn’t know that. So things weren’t going well. I talked to this guy and his body language alone was so disrespectful. Let alone the way he talked to me. I asked what I did wrong and apparently he was offended by my wisecrack. I felt so ashamed for what I did. I took a minute and then said an apology. This guy told me he doesn’t accept it. Kapal ng mukha noh? Hindi marunong magpatawad. He belittled me. He told me how I’m not worth anything, same with my apology. With this I felt so much better that I was the better person in that room even if I did something wrong. At first I wanted to win his friendship again but forget it. Right there and then, I saw his true colors. I didn’t need that kind of person in my life. I went on with life professionally and of course, this guy made more mistakes. Several uneducated moves and he was gone. He thought so highly of himself that he couldn’t forgive and didn’t know how to ask for forgiveness. That’s a shame. Happy he’s not in my life anymore.

We all make mistakes. Let’s learn from them.

Lord, forgive me for my short comings. I’m not perfect. I stumble at times. It’s difficult to try to be like you. But we try our best with your guidance to be of service to God.

PS: quota na ata ako sa uncivilized response from heart felt apologies. No more na please, God? 😀

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